Let’s be honest—being vegan doesn’t give you a free pass to feel good 24/7. Especially not in the digestive department.

You switched to kale smoothies, promised yourself more energy, less bloating, and a new lease on gut health.
So why do you still feel like an overinflated beach ball at a vegan BBQ?

Because being vegan doesn’t automatically mean being healthy. And sometimes… your body’s just trolling you back.

So here are 10 possible reasons your vegan friend (or you, let’s be real) is still walking around like a balloon animal at a birthday party:

 

1. Lentils Twice a Day, Every Day
Great for the planet. Terrible for your gas mileage.

2. You Swapped Cheese for Nutritional Yeast and Trauma
And somehow, both leave an aftertaste.

3. Your Fiber Intake Could Scare a Horse
40g/day isn’t a flex—it’s a warning.

4. You're Drinking Oat Milk Like It’s Holy Water
Plot twist: it’s mostly carbs and vibes.

5. You Think Hummus Is a Main Course
Spoiler: it’s not. Even if you sprinkle paprika.

6. You Refuse to Admit You're Sensitive to Soy
Denial is not digestive health.

7. You Snack Like a Toddler
Rice cakes and dates? That’s not a meal—it’s a Pinterest board.

8. You Eat Too Fast, Like You’re Hiding From a Carnivore
Breathe between bites. The kale isn't going anywhere.

9. You Think "Organic" Means "Magic"
It doesn't. It just means you're paying more to fart in Whole Foods.

10. You’ve Been Vegan for a Week and Expect a Glow-Up
Give it time—or at least drink some water.

💚 Shop the Trolls
Feeling attacked? Same.
That’s why we made the Vegan Doesn’t Mean Healthy tee — wearable proof that self-awareness is sexy.

 

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📲 Stay Bloated, Stay Trolling
Tag your gassy vegan friend.
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